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You win, you win, you can have her.’ He laughed, ‘Oh yeah! Music to my ears. But I know you’ll be back, you’ll be annoying her all the time, paying people to follow her, go through her garbage, making her life miserable, I cant have that. She’s not a sex object, she’s a person too.’ Before I could protest he squeezed. ‘Oh God! Oh God! STOP! LET GO!!’ I screamed. There I was, out on his lawn, having my balls busted. A group of college girls passed his house, ‘Hey Antonio. Nice car.’ one of them said noticing my BMW. ‘I know, thanks!’ He tightened his grip, ‘You want me to let go?’ he asked me. I screamed, ‘YES! PLEASE!!’ ‘Your car is now my car.’ He demanded. ‘YOU GOT IT! LET GO!!’ He was toying with me, he squeezed harder. This was too much for me. My legs gave way, but he still kept me up by my balls. ‘Goodbye dick!’ he said with one final squeeze as he turned my balls to mush. I heard a loud pop. I awoke hours later in a community hospital. I was greeted by a pretty nurse, ‘You. “Young man, we’re both 90 years old,” the husband said. “We may not have 45 minutes.” They were seated immediately.The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would “hate” to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle.They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked,“When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.Eugene.
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