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”“And how did he react to that?”“He said that he had never had sex with a corpse, and I should never have sex with an animal ... But there was nothing wrong with thinking about it ... I assume, from that, that he used to think about having sex with the corpses ... But that’s fair enough – if I had a penis I’m sure I would have tried that by now...” She seems extremely comfortable talking like this.Charley looks mildly ill, but can’t resist pushing on... “Once he knows you’ve had sex with a dog, do you think he might want to have sex with a corpse?”Imogen recoils slightly, a little disgusted, but then pausing and thinking for a second... “I hadn’t thought of it, but maybe. Who knows ... I don’t know if he’s even interested ... But if he was, I’m sure he has friends in the business who could help him out on that score ... Not me, of course. I keep a good business.” She winks to camera – it’s the first genuinely warm moment she’s had since we started.Charley leans in for her final. She goes completely batshit insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I’m laughing hysterically.It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a “negative test result for sperm” to show I’m sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I’m ready.I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am.
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