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There was nothing to try and save, no matter how much we both wanted to make it all work out. I couldn't make her happy and setting her free was the best thing I could do for her. Even if it did hurt the both of us. It's better this way though. I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself nothing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous. She grunted and then pushed back against me, turning her head so wecould kiss as I was fucking her. I picked up my rhythm, and we movedin time, our bodies locked together in an ecstatic coupling. Thiswasn't about one of us getting pleasure; it was about both of usgiving pleasure to the other.I stiffened inside her and my climax tore through me with like atsunami breaking on the shore, carrying everything before it. Alexgrunted as she came, her cum spraying across the bed. We slumpedsideways, our lungs dragging in air as we recovered."Shit," she said, "I thought you were never going to stop coming." Me neither. That was awesome. I can't remember being that hardbefore."She grinned. "Well, you can do that to me anytime you like."I shook my head, "I might need a few minutes to recover."That earned me a punch on the arm. "It's my turn next time."We cleaned each other up in the shower which inevitably involved morestroking and kissing. After we had finished and were getting dressedto meet.
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