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Just one step. Shortly before the bus passes. It'll be overthen. I could rest. I could sleep. Forever. Without pain. I stoodthere. Watching the bus. And watching it leave. I still stood there.Fuck. I couldn't do it. Again. Maybe the next one. Or a lorry.It was one of the bad days. There are only bad days now. Some are justbad, some are worse. But never good days. The days where I can't standit. The days I can't look into a mirror without getting theoverwhelming compulsion to smash it. Rather with my head than anythingelse. Maybe I would bleed to death then.But I did nothing. I never did anything. I just felt miserable.Sometimes more, sometimes less. But always miserable. I moved hereyears ago. Trying to find new opportunities. Tried to be unknown. Butto be honest, I never had many friends. Except for Ian. My family,well, we're never been close. My mum contacted me sometimes, sayingshe's sad I moved away and always being so distant. My dad ran awaywhen I was little. Maybe he was my. They called from time to time for help as Rust Falls wasn't large enough to support a permanent cyber branch. Most of the time they turned to Martin instead of having to send everything to the nearest branch which is six hours away by car."Alright, I will have look and tell you if I can help. Just knock when you get here." Thanks. ETA: fifteen min."They both hang up. Martin sighs and puts on a pot of coffee in preparation for a long night. About fifteen minutes later Martin hears a knock on the door. He gets up to let Janet in. She walks in wearing her short sleeve uniform with the laptop in question under one arm."Thanks again for doing this. I don't know what we would do without you." she says as she places the laptop on the repair counter."No worries. Cup of coffee before going back out?" I say gesturing at the fresh pot. She eyes the coffee pot with longing."I am tempted but when people die other people get scared. I need to get back to it." I will call you tomorrow if I find.
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