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... I am sure the girls know to what I refer. I even had a cabby recently suggest I could pay him with my charms rather than money. I legged it immediately you will be pleased to know, I am not having that at all. But nice to be found sufficiently attractive.A few weeks back at a family wedding a couple of the ushers tried it on at the reception. My husband was there, in the room, and yet they still both thought I was worth a crack at, they had no chance.I love my fella, but sex, it has to be said, is not quite as exciting as it once was. I think he knows that so has tried to spice it up a bit. Recently he has taken to whispering his fantasies in my ear when we are having sex. They revolve around me being taken by other men in various standard, and not so standard, situations. Sometimes whilst he is on top of me he will suggest I imagine I am being ravished by two black men, spit roasted, turned round and round, you know the sort of thing.Another is where we are at a club and a few. I am what I am, and I wanted nobody to lay next to me. In those days I really thought that was the truth of it.Not once did I realize that I had been set-up. Trained from the very day I had tore my way into this world, from a Whore who had never learned to keep her legs crossed.A bastard, that's what they called me. If they knew who my father was, they'd be more respectful/jealous of the blood that coursed through my veins, dreams from him plagued my nights, the image of the dead bodies of my family haunted me."Speak the words, fledgling and they will vanish."Not once did I want it, so not once did I wish it. Now I was just a junkie, poppin pills, chasing it with rum and coke, smoking weed, and snorting cokcaine.Every night I put a gun to my head and begged for a reason to end it. Every night my father weaved his magic words into the air making me pass out, but tonight was different, no soothing words came forth, nothing cocking the hammer of the old .22 Ruger, tonight felt.
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