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Tillman,’ Bobby replied. He wondered if his voice sounded as funny to her as it did to him. ‘You’ve obviously done a lot of work on this,’ Lois said. Part of her wanted him to leave, part of her didn’t. She shook her head, trying to clear it. Her mind was awhirl with memories of what she and Bobby had done, and the strong emotions those memories evoked. Deep inside her warmth glowed. ‘I’m sorry to have to do this…’ she murmured. She had to get Bobby to leave before she lost control and compounded the problems she’d made for herself that summer. ‘I…I think you better go.’ Bobby sensed her confusion. ‘Are you sure that’s what you want me to do, Mrs. Tillman?’ he asked softly. Lois nodded. ‘Yes, Bobby, you…you have to,’ she said. ‘Look, we…we made a…a mistake this summer. I…I could…get in…in a lot of trouble if anyone found out what happened between us. I’m married…I could lose my job. If…if people found out I…I’d be ruined. What happened was a mistake, a terrible mistake.’ ‘I won’t. Just put just put it on your key ring."I thanked her and walked to the convent. Walking I could not help it, I was thinking of tomorrow, thinking of following the kids down there again, to watch, to masturbate as I watched. I caught myself in my sinful desires and went straight to Chapel. I knelt and prayed, I prayed right through supper and was still praying when Vespers started. My desires that I had, I knew were wrong for the life I had chosen. And I knew that I would have this battle in me for a long, long time. How many other Nuns felt this way? Who could I talk to? Better yet, what do I say? Do I tell them everything? Or just my sick desires? Now you know what I was praying about, for wisdom to deal with this problem that I had between my legs, this yearning, this wanting, this lusting for the pleasures of the flesh. I was in tears when the Sisters came in. I did not know what to do, or who to talk to.After Vespers, I went straight to my room. I vowed I would not touch myself.
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