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It was all a lot to take in. Guilt gnawed at me for feeling the way that I did about her, but I felt powerless to change it. It was a dead end, and I knew it. There was nothing to hope for here. No future. Just pining away stupidly over something I could never have. I needed to distract myself.* * *Megan stared at my painting while she chewed her thumbnail, seemingly deep in thought. A little more than a month had passed since the incident in the food court, and she had come by my place to see some of my latest paintings at her own insistence. She slowly moved back and forth down the row of paintings I had leaning against the wall, but kept coming back to the same one.It was light colored painting, unusual for me, measuring 36 x 48 inches, with light hues of blue, green and yellow throughout. Although it was done in acrylic, it gave off a look similar to a watercolor. The abstract images seemed to form loosely into figures interweaving, sometimes meeting to embrace and sometimes not.. It wouldn't matter who was on top or on bottom, I just knew it was hot. I knew I wanted it. And I wanted it bad.It had been two months since he'd approached me. His vision began to consume me, that look of sadness that night. The guilt plagued me, his face torn and contorted in anguish. Sometimes I wondered how I, as a man, could have done that, denied that, refused that.It had been two months since he'd approached me. Maybe I was starting to understand where he was coming from. Maybe his lack of response to all the hints I'd tried to drop had gone unnoticed. Maybe I'd started to feel the way he'd had... rejected. Every time I'd pass by him, a few drops of sweat beaded on my forehead, and I'd swallow hard, ready to talk to him. But every time I tried, I'd lose my gut or something would get in the way. I'd vowed that that night I would talk to him, one way or another.That night, I came into the locker room after the main event and waited for him. He was in the shower, I was told. I.
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