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All of the bugs? Hah! Don’t kid me. They’ve only given me a month and it would take a year to clean up their piece of junk software properly. So I fix the most obvious bugs, the kind the users will see. The ones the users won’t see? Well, the users don’t see them, do they. But I know. I know what those bugs are, where they’re hidden and what they can do for me.So, there you are, on your phone. Does it have GPS? I know where you are. Did you take a selfie? I know what you look like. Got your Facebook account on there? Instagram? I know. If it’s on your phone, I know. No, I don’t work for one of those government organisations whose names are a bunch of letters, I just work for myself. If you’ve got one of the apps I worked on, the ones with the bugs you don’t see, then I know. All those zombies walking the streets with their faces stuck in their phones? I know.I don’t just fix other people’s apps, I wrote my own. To sell? No, I give my app away for free, isn’t that nice of me? It’s so. There I was laid out on the sofa in heels a nice dress a string of pearls, ear rings and watching T.V.land when I see Barney pull up into our driveway in the Police cruiser. He could fuck up a wet dream. I was out of aunties clothes in a hurry, went up to my room and changed into regular clothes.Barney was in the house already, in the living room actually, looking at Aunt Bea's clothes and fingering her double string of pearls and he had a weird look on his face and though at the moment I did not know what to think of this, I damn well did later that day."Well Opie, we have a big problem here. I have to take all Aunt Bea's clothes to the sheriff's office as evidence."Barney was always trying to impress everyone with his real lack of police expertise and all I could see was a lack of a good time good time in my hot aunties clothes."I don't think so Barney, she left'em here, thought they were too dressy for her visit." No Opie, Lefty skinny fingers must have been here, figures the.
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