I am Mr. Smith. I will be your host for the next two days. I am responsible for your well being and also to ensure that you experience everything that you indicated you wished. This is the questionnaire you filled out during your application process to attend our facility. You were quite complete and I want to quickly go over it and our rules to make sure we both have the same understanding.”I picked up the glass and the odor of vodka was unmistakable. How considerate and needed, I thought. “In short, you indicated that you and your husband have been personally involved in bondage and various modes of pain for the past eighteen months, give or take, and that they have peaked in terms of how far he is interested in going. Am I correct so far?”“Yes. I want to test my limits, physical, sexual and mental. My husband and I are both very happy with our sex life but I desire more and he is unable to give me what I need. So I am here for you to use as you see fit to give me the experiences I. ’ But there was no accusation, no finger-pointing, no recriminations. Just a bold, painful statement about how I hurt her then – and the knock-on affect for the rest of her life. Despite all that suffering, she’d been the one to bridge the years and renew our contact. And, even now, she said she liked hearing from me. Amazing! I shook my head and thought, yet again, about the remarkable love I had spurned. It was all so tormenting. I couldn’t help but wonder what might have been. How different would our lives have been? Hang on, Richard, here you go again. Don’t feel sorry for yourself – think about Gaynor. Think about what you did to her, not what you foolishly brought upon yourself. I stood up from my chair, picked up my empty brandy glass – and then put it down again. I walked along the corridor, peeked into the bedroom and saw Veronica was asleep. Downstairs I collected the brandy bottle and returned to my office where I poured a large measure. I put on my spectacles and prepared.
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