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He has left me. I do not know how long he will be angry or when he will be back. I know that your father loves you and does not want to hurt you." She looked around the table into each of our faces. As she caught my eyes, I saw her tears and could feel my own flowing. I was afraid to look at my brothers, but I could hear sobs from the end of the table.She continued, "Things are going to be different from today forward. But, we will continue to be a family in his absence. We will respect his decisions and never shall a bad word be said about him. The fault lies solely within me." I saw Shannon squeeze mom's hand."You all have no reason to feel that you have done anything to push your father to this decision. You have all been good sons, and he is proud of you." With that, mom got up from the table and went upstairs. Not another word was spoken by anybody. The food was left on the plates and in a couple of minutes, my brothers ran from the table, separately, to grieve. I sat there. I always took consolation in the fact that none of them would ever become my new “daddy.” Dot let me know at an early age they were just friends and wouldn’t be staying around long. However every Thursday and Friday night after the bar shut down, Dot got her “freak on.” Dot never had “guests” any other night of the week. She tried to preserve some normality for me. That doesn’t mean Dot didn’t get any though. I have walked into the storage room too many times to count with Dot getting fucked or giving a blow job. I remember once when I was 16 I found her blowing a guy in the storage room and I stood there until she looked up and I asked if she could pass me a mustard jar. Dot and I don't have any secrets, we are the only family we have and are quite close. Two women living together causes that. We enjoy each others' company, always looking for something funny and in a bar there is a laugh just around the corner at any given time. Dot put me on the pill at 16, however I didn’t.
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