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Alicia sobbed into her daughter's shoulders for a moment, then became quieter."I'm so sorry, Mom," Jackie whispered. "I really had no..." She stopped, realizing she had said that before. "Didn't anything good happen to you there?" she asked, needing to know.Alicia was quiet for a moment. Her tear-streaked face looked almost serene. She sighed then, and looked at her first-born."Jonathan," she said, then smiled at the slight confusion on her daughter's face. "His name was Jonathan. My son." You had a son?" Jackie whispered. "Where is he now?" The brief serenity vanished from her mother's face now. She looked sad and broken."He's probably dead," she said, her voice flat and emotionless. "My darling step-daughter probably killed him when she nuked Nashville."Jackie didn't know what to say. A girl can only apologize so many times for dredging up horrible memories, so she stayed silent, and felt ashamed that she didn't know what to say to make anything better. So she simply hugged her. The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"The man says, "Yes" and hands over the registration papers.The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"A woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, "What's your hurry?"She replied, "I'm late for work." Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I'm a Rectum Stretcher," she responded.The cop stammered, "A what?" A Rectum Stretcher!" And just what does a rectum stretcher do?".
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