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The head still stuck out. When I tried to close my thumb and forefinger around the thickest part of the head, I couldnt. It was slightly curved, and covered in pretend veins. The head was perfectly smooth, except for the slit along the top. It bent fairly easily, and had a big, black knob at the bottom, which I turned. It began humming and vibrating in my hand. Thats when I heard the front-door open. I crammed the thing back where I found it, closed the drawer and hurried across the hall into my room, softly closing the door. Then I threw myself on the bed and waited for my heart to stop pounding, and my panicked breathing to slow down. When I was myself again, I considered my find. Why on earth, did Gran have that monstrosity next to her bed? Well – duh – I had seen enough times on the net, how women shoved the things inside themselves. But she was my grandmother! Holy crap! And as I thought about the implications, inevitably an image formed in my mind – of Gran, lying on her. For he was Jack O’Lantern, and on this night, he ruled supreme. ‘On Vomit, on Putrid,’ he called to the bats pulling the pumpkin carriage in which he rode, ‘on Goner, on Shits’n,’ A pumpkin riding in a carved-out pumpkin carriage? Isn’t that a little cannibalistic or something? Yeeeaah … but that just helps set the mood for the rest of the evening. With a satisfied smile, jack gazed out across the landscape that was his realm, for he ruled ALL on this evening. The petty humans were huddled, trembing inside their little homes, none dared to emerge into the fearsome– Someone was waving at him from down below. WHAT?! Was the waver DAFT?! Was he some senseless imbecile, too dumb to know fear?! Or was he– Or was he DEFIANT?! Braving the depths of horror for some feeble fraternity dare?! Did these humans think that this evening of horrors was CUTE?! That this was any other holiday to be commercialized for the four-year-olds?! Infuriated, Jack suddenly decreed that this entire evening of.
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