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In the background, my cell phone rang again and again. Thad was persistent. I stopped what I was doing. Anyone walking in at that point would have seen a somewhat paranoid, thin man holding a stiletto looking like he was waiting for the world to come to an end.What if it wasn't Thad this time?I looked over at the bed where the phone flared to life and hummed incessantly. I had a sour ball in my stomach that wasn't entirely from not drinking—or from drinking too much.My paranoia said it was the police. My brain said my paranoia was stupid, the police wouldn't call first. It was Thad. Poor little desperate Thad...I walked over to the bed, the stiletto pointed away from my body and away from the chance of it possibly touching anything else. It wasn't Thad.I didn't recognize the number. Candy hadn't given me hers. I had given her mine. We met for drinks before coming back here, there had been no need to call.All I could see in my head was Candy smiling at me as she put her hair up so. "Give me that condom Dean. I want it." I asked her why. "I just like flavored condoms. I like tasting it when I give a guy head." That's when I perked up. "Rachel this is perfect! You just admitted you liked giving head to flavored condoms. I happen to like getting head regardless. I think we can work something out here." "Dean we're not doing this." So I had to be a little creative here. "How about this Rachel; let's go to the pub for a couple of drinks, on me. If you can convince me to hand over the condom I will." Instead of a couple drinks, we did a few polar bears at 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon. We started exchanging sex stories, only I couldn't tell her I had already banged two classmates she knew. So I had to lie a little bit. Then she asked me the "magic" question. "Dean, do you have a magic stick?" Bingo! And, for the record, this was before the hit song of that name was released. I told her about previous women calling me late at night to see what I'm up to. I had to.
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