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Number 8- Life is sexually transmitted.Number 7- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.Number 6- Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart.If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.Number 5- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.Number 4- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.Number 3- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.Number 2- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.Number 1- Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. ... and as someone recently said to me:Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.This one is compliments of BobTest for Dementia Below are four (4) questions and a bonus. He'd had no idea how to get closer to her. He hadn't wanted to make any mistakes, didn't want to run the risk of losing her.It had been a new sensation for him, and a scary one to boot. She'd seemed to understand his predicament, had taken him by the hand, had taught him, with infinite patience, how to love. It wasn't until their wedding night that she'd given her body to him, an honor she'd bestowed only on him. Things had been so easy in those days, never seeming to be any real trouble between them.Thinking of the scar on her wrist now, the self-inflicted wound where she'd nearly ended her own life, he tried to understand what it must be like to be in her shoes, to feel what she felt. No matter what direction he looked at it from, he still thought her self-righteous attitude was an act. Her woman's pride had been damaged, that's all. She'll come around, he thought, just as soon as she's done making me suffer for it.That last thought brought a sly smile to his face. She'd torture.
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