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“Still am. I know that I was a bit ... distant now and then toward the end of our affair, especially when I abruptly stopped it. I’m sorry. I just ... felt guilty, cheating on my boyfriend, very conflicted, very torn between my love for him, Roderick, the father of my children, and my ... growing passion for you. It wasn’t that I lacked feeling for you. Quite the opposite. It was that my feelings for you were so fucking strong that they scared me, hell, they terrified me! It was supposed to just be a fling, a cheating tryst with you, a safely married man, but it didn’t work out that way.“I mean, think of it. I loved him. Roderick Van Slyck was my high school sweetheart. He was the father of my children. He was a great guy in many ways, but such a prick in certain aspects. He was abusive and insanely jealous, yet I know that he fooled around on me, because I saw his body language with these other girls, overheard him talking to them, saw them kiss like lovers, too. I didn’t see any. Jean wore a leopard print mini-dress.Once assembled it was back out into the cold night. I just followed thecrowd. They knew where to go, I didn't. We headed for night club calledRoxy's but there was little atmosphere in there so we left after onedrink and went to Rumours, a straight club close by.Now the music wasn't to my taste but who cares? It was a fun time. Itmust have been good as we were still there at chucking out time (3 a.m.)I can remember Rowena taking photos of Marie. For some reason she laydown on the dance floor to get a better angle of shot, skirt hitched up,stocking tops clearly visible. I took some photos of her. She didn'tseem the least embarrassed or self-conscious.We danced and danced. There was a real girl in there with her boyfriendwho seemed to think it was her duty to pinch the bottoms of all the t-girls. She seemed to enjoy it and we didn't complain. I learned avaluable lesson. I had a handbag with a short strap that I placed at theedge of the dance floor..
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