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‘So, do you think they will ever come?’ I ask a question that I’ve asked many times before. She knows the sequence of answers, it comes from practice. ‘Who? The other people?’ ‘Yes,’ I say. There is really no need for me to talk because she knows everything I’m about to say. We only talk out loud because I can’t tell what she is thinking. I always have the feeling of inferiority. ‘Alex, I don’t think it is possible, in fact, it is mathematically impossible for them to ever find us. We have to get used to this lunar base and make it our home.’ She says this coldly. Her body remains absolutely still. It is at times like this that I wish she had a name so I could shout it angrily at her. She hasn’t so I contain my anger. ‘I know. But being out here is making me so lonely,’ I tell her. ‘You will always have me- forever,’ she tries to reassure me. ‘But your not… It’s not the same as…’ I stop myself. I have an impulse to try and protect her feelings even though I know she doesn’t have any.. Eventually, I got bored with this existence - the parties, the shallow conversation and his control. The move took place in October and I settled into my little home in the country. I explored the area and found a little market and a wonderful little coffee shop to spend mornings with my laptop. I enjoyed my time alone and began to learn about what I really enjoyed in life. I loved how life was slower here and how I enjoyed small things like walking to town and coming across kind and sweet people. I did, however, miss the feeling of having a relationship with a man and wondered if I had made the right decision. I mostly missed sex. During my morning bath, like many mornings I played with myself and started my day off with an orgasm but I was getting to the point that I wanted more. Maybe I could meet someone to satisfy that need for human touch. I'd thought about fucking a lot lately. I came out of the bathroom and I felt the cool air blow into the room from the slightly opened.
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