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Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth. There you have it ICE is fucking lethal, lay off the ice and warn all your friends, you could save a life and don’t forget what it did to the poor old Titanic!Two old guys were sitting in the park talking when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older”. “What do you mean?” asked the second guy. “Well” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I was able to get it up in bed, but my wife - she’s healthier than ever!” “Healthier? How is that?” his buddy wondered. “Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she’d get these terrible headaches”. He answered. “Now that we’re older, she hasn’t had a headache in years”. Recession beater. Wife says to husband “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second. "Sal, I just wanted to tell you that Cindy and Regis are very sorry they have been treating you so bad lately. Our father has been put through a lot over at the union hall because of his 2 youngest daughters having babies out of wedlock at the same time. After the pregnancy was all over and they had the babies just like Sister Veronica told them they should, he would come home drunk and paddle them something fierce and God-awful loud in their bedrooms. I think he wanted us other girls to get the message not to spread our legs for any boys, especially you, Sal."That was a hell of a long speech for a broad that had only given him the odd word here and there for the past year and a half. Sal looked up at her and saw that she was tearing up at the corners of her eyes and he figured she was as sincere as an older sister can get with a guy that knocked up her 2 youngest siblings."Hey, that's OK Ann, I understand and I only want what is best for Cindy and Regis and the two babies. I've been.
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