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I worry about that. I love my husband. But I can’t go on like this. I don’t want a platonic relationship. Too much has happened in the last six months. Too much has happened in the last week. I won’t settle. Now that I know how exciting life can be I want that. I want it for Don and me. But if Don isn’t interested then I want it for me. I won’t give up the excitement I’ve discovered and come to love.”She laughed. But it was a sad laugh, an ironic laugh. She asked, “Do you know what made me decide I have to fix my marriage or get out of it? You! You and Kala and Kyle and now Denise. Jesus! Even your fourteen year old brother has a better sex life than I do!“I see how happy you kids are with each other, how much in love you are and how much you enjoy your sexuality. I’m happy for you. But when I’m alone in the evening and I compare your lives to mine it tears me up. I want to live like that! I want to be that free and feel that love and that lust. I want to see the look in my husband’s. The stresses of the daily grind does not show. You seem almost boy like and innocent – even though I know full well that nothing is further from the truth. You are most definitely all man. But here in the early morning hours, when the rest of the world is at ease, I have this special time to really look at you – relaxed, subdued, and completely at my mercy. My eyes make their way to your face. Your lips are full and sensuous and slightly parted. I lightly run my index finger over their softness, for I cannot help myself. You take in a slightly deeper breath – but still you sleep. That simple act of running my finger over your lips has my breathing coming more rapidly. You excite me in ways I’ve never imagined, though I’ve barely touched you. Although you have yet to lay a hand on me. I take in your strong muscled arms that are thrown over your head. Your jet-black hair is mussed as though you have run your strong fingers through it countless times throughout the night. Again, I.
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