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I mentioned this to one of my older cousins & she is like what the hell are you waiting for? My POS husband was going "fishing" with his "friends" this weekend so I knew I would have to get creative. I open a bottle of wine take a couple of drags from my pipe & decide to call him.He actually picks up. I was very nervous. What if he doesn't remember. I was embarrassed. I ask him by name & try to explain who I am when stops me mid sentence & asks, "You the hot Latina with the big ass from Key West aren't you?" I reply in the affirmative & he tells me he was hoping I would call. OK. Not embarrassed any longer. So we begin to chit chat & it turns out he's a Pro Football player with the Atlanta Falcons. Since I am not into sports I had no clue who he was so I looked him up on my computer while we were talking. DAMN!!!! This guy was FINE as WINE! His bio said he was 6'-6", 255 lbs & he was chiseled! What does this guy want with me? 6'-6''? WTF? We decide to meet up for drinks later that. I threw my gear into the back of the 4X4 and drove the hundred or so kilometers to the border. Leaving Georgia was easy. The Georgians were more concerned about Chechens coming in, and in fact were a little amused that a stupid American would be going the other way. The Russians on the other side of the border were a different story. I silently handed my papers to the heavily armed border guard; he scanned them, then smiled to himself and shouted to his only other visible comrade."Yuri, come look. Here's an American!" He was obviously excited.Yuri sauntered over with a smirk on his face. I could read his mind, and I was prepared.He spoke to the first Russian. "I'll bet he's another one of those capitalist oil people. They're all idiots." Then he placed a hand on my door and leaned into my window to give me a closer inspection.I smiled to him and spoke in perfect Russian. "We may all be idiots, but we're very generous idiots." As I spoke I palmed a folded 5000-ruble bill into his.
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