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I felt belittled and painfully emasculated by what had just happened, but however inadequate I felt at that moment I knew I needed to go to Jill.Some of what she’d done had hurt and betrayed me, but I knew she was hurting and that some of Chris’s barbs had hit home and left her questioning her choices and our marriage. Why else would she have finally given in to Chris’s aggressive kiss and stopped struggling, surrendering her mouth as a symbol of wider doubts and thoughts?Now wasn’t a time for words. I strode over to Jill, pulled her to her feet, and wrapped her in my arms, holding her as tightly as I could. Feeling her sobbing chest against mine made me feel doubly inadequate and unworthy. The man who’d taken a perfectly good marriage and allowed us to sink into the depths of a depraved lifestyle that had brought Chris and so many other men into our bed. Inviting danger and allowing him to plant all manner of rooted-in-truth doubts in the heart of the woman I loved.At that moment. Back inside, and while I remembered, I got out the borrowed TV camera, stripped myself down to my underwear, and did a twirl in front of it to show my body off. Then I redressed and put it away in the out-of-the-way cupboard we keep it in.I thought it was time to work on other ways of improving my martial arts skill. I'd thought of punching, pushing and negating someone trying to push or throw me. Pushing was so obvious there was nothing to practice, as was negating opponents' trying to push or throw me. The latter was easy because I'd be able to sense my opponents' intention before the push started, giving me time to counter it. Only punching needed a little practice.I positioned some of the sofa cushions in a row as a punching bag, while the mothers were safely asleep. I punched them as hard as I could using unaided muscle power, to give me the sight and feel for how hard "as hard as I could" was. Then I set about reproducing it using Super-Aikido. To take the extreme example, if my.
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