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She turned a corner into a narrow alley, probably a short cut and I knew my time has come. I took out the tazer and closed the distance between us. Taking a quick glance around to make sure no one else was around, I closed up the last few yards to her. At the last moment, she turned back and looked a me in surprise but it was too late for her. I brought the tazer to her neck and zapped her a long hard one. She gave a few jerks and then slumped limply into my arms as her pretty eyes rolled back and her eyelids fluttered close. I quickly stuffed her into my Santa sack, tied up the opening and hoisted her limp and light body over my shoulders. Soon, I was walking merrily along the street once more towards an overpass bridge I scouted out yesterday. Along the way, I passed by two cops. I waved merrily at them and laughed at them as I continued past them with my precious cargo. Soon, I was at the dark, uncomfortable but totally deserted area under the overpass. I opened the sack and. “What? Really?”The tears began to flow.“Jim, are you sure?”“Paul I am as sure as the test will allow me to be. The final and ultimate test will be after the birth when we run the DNA test again. The test is more than 90% sure that you are the father. From what I have been able to learn from the people who developed the test, THAT is a huge number for them at this point of gestation.”“Thanks Jim. This is going to make the whole family really happy.”“My pleasure, believe me, my friend. I want to see them all in two weeks if I don’t see them before at that BBQ you keep telling me that you are going to invite me and the wife to.”“Ok, ok! I think that this announcement will put the whole family in BBQ mood. I’ll have Lynn let you know. Thanks again, Jim.”I disconnected the call and plotted how to make the announcement as coolly as possible through some pretty heavy tears.That night after we had put the kids to sleep, I was lying in bed quietly cuddling with the wives. They seemed to know.
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