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But I used to put that down to high spirits, fearful of the feelings that dwelt within me.It was a friend who suggested that I shouldn't suppress these longings: that it was perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I now realise, after being liberated from these fears, that I might have been running after boys to prove to myself that I didn't have any feelings towards my own sex.It was Wednesday night, after another emotionally unfulfilling sexual joust with Carlo, that I finally decided to urburden myself on Rose. But I didn't foresee the consequences of my telling Rose of my troubled sexual and emotional life with Carlo and Ed. I was frustrated by Ed's lack of sexual drive, and now understood that the eagerness of Carlo's love making was not a manifestation of love for me, but merely of a****l lust. I just had to tell someone.I wanted to ask Rose's advice on life and love. I wanted to learn more about how she became my Dad's lover. I knew she's also been working at a bikini. They say their goodbyes and leave us waving from the driveway. Elaine and I are finally alone. I turn to her in the driveway and hug her touching my lips to hers. We kiss a little savoring the moment. I take her hand in mine as we walk back into the house. She rests her head against my arm cooing. We are so content. A new era is starting in our lives. We will feel as if we are married, doing everything for ourselves. There will be no one else telling us what to do, where to go or watching that we behave. What is next I thought? Do we remove our clothing and start having sex right away or prolong it to make it special? I want the latter. I want this “first time” to be special for both of us. She starts to go down stairs to my room. I stop her. “Let’s go to your bedroom.” I say. “Is that all right?” She giggles and with a huge smile says, “That is the most wonderful thing I can imagine happening.” We make sure all the doors are locked and the shades are drawn. We walk around the.
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