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I'm laying there with my calves still on the bed, my back curled and my head on the floor. I try to do a sort of reverse summersault to smoothly get off the bed with my girlfriend watching. I get my legs over my head before I feel my feet hit my girlfriend. "Ow stop!" She says, "You kicked me!" I feel bad so I freeze in this very awkward position, my head on the floor, back pinned against the mattress, and legs pulled over my head with my feet on the floor. I feel her hands on my ankles, and she brings them together closer to my head, and makes sure they are touching the floor. Then she puts one knee down over my ankles, and sits the rest of her weight down on her heels, trapping me on the ground! "Hey! You said I kicked you!" I yell, her crotch mere inches from my face. "You're right, I did. I lied, but you yelled 'Tickle Monster', and now you're going to be on timeout for a little while. I'm going to pin you here until you learn your lesson, and definitely until your hard-on goes. .condition." Are you sure there's no cure? Can't you do something?" Well, of course we could initiate sex reassignment therapy in reverse,treating you with massive dosages of testosterone and surgicallyremoving your breasts. But I'm afraid it's too late to save your malegenetalia...at best, you'd be...." I'd be what?" A eunuch with a menehune penis."At the sound of that, I became violently sick.* * *I refused to accept Dr. Banzai's diagnosis. No way was I turning into awoman! I spent hours on the Internet, trying to determine if such athing had ever happened in human history, and there was no precedent forit. I had to find a real doctor, one who wore shoes! This was all somekind of cruel joke, a cosmic payback for my years of philandering, as ifall the women I'd ever wronged were conspiring to emasculate me. Couldit be that some bitch I'd burned slipped something to me in a drink?Even if that had happened, surely it was impossible for one shot of anydrug or hormone to cause.
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