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.. a..." Connection?" she completed my thought still smiling and rocking one leg on top of the other."Yes, exactly, a connection. How did you know?" Because I feel exactly the same way when I look into his eyes," she said sitting upright. "I know it is not surrender; you are right: there was no battle. He never asked for me to give myself to him; he did not have to. There was one time: he was on top of me shielding my body with his. I looked into his eyes and I knew," she snapped her fingers. "Just like that, I knew I was his. I also knew he was mine." Me, too," I whispered. "But how can that be? One of us has to be wrong. We can't both be his. Well, I suppose we could but how could he be both of ours? I don't think I'm making much sense." Maybe we are both insane," she grinned. "Because I understand you perfectly." This is very strange," I sighed shaking my head. "So what do we do now? Fight over him? You are too beautiful for me to compete with that way." Nonsense," she scoffed.. I could not breathe when I awoke. I felt the dreadful pain in my chest and arms, piercing straight into my heart just as it did before. My tears could not be stopped from rolling down my cheeks as the realization hit me once again that I am unwanted by the man I love. I know exactly what the dream means, for the message in it is abundantly clear. There can be no more. No more dreaming of the man I love. No more wanting him late at night, and needing his love to be thrust gently inside me. No more thinking of our bodies intertwined beneath the sheets of my bed. No more thoughts of kisses and soft caresses pressed against my aching flesh. No more wishing for his hands to roam eagerly over every inch of me. No more fantasizing of pianos and a home filled with love, safety, warmth, and family. All of these are merely dreams that can never be and if I hold onto them then I will never know peace. We will never be together and I know that, with every bit of my being, I know it but God, how.
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