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" I interrupted, "It was several years back, and I've begun to come to terms with it. Funny thing, I always thought I'd prefer to remember her the way she was before the cancer, and those are fond memories, to be sure. My fondest memories, though, are of the months before she died. When none of the treatments showed any improvement, she told them to stop the chemo and the painkillers. For weeks, almost every moment we had together she was smiling, telling jokes, and trying to cheer me up."I looked over at Charlotte, "She was dying, and spent her time trying to cheer me up! I knew she was in great pain most of the time, but she refused any painkillers until just before the end, because she wanted to be with us, mentally as well as physically, for the time that she had left. Those have become my most treasured memories of her. That wan, skeletal face that used to be so beautiful, in those last weeks seemed to glow with an inner light, and I was humbled in the face of her. .other things, personal things...intimate. Shetells me I need to get laid. And she says it vulgarly, explicitly in away only a woman could joke to another woman. Focus. It's that man she spoke of. He's why I need to go. That PierreSatyr. It was his voice that called me. She says I know him. Somethinghappened. I have only two hours and I'm not even sure what to do, where to begin.How can I possibly be here, dressing as her, sensing her? Tea doesn'thelp. I pour a glass of wine. I don't think I've stopped smoking. Ok.Ok. Ok.The closet has that dress. I know exactly where it is. I take it out onits hanger. I can tell Jen might not have worn this. Its still unworn infact. I lay it on the bed and get the shoes. My hair. It will take along time to dry. I should just take a shower now. Just wash. Andshampoo. Conditioner and then just get out. Dry off. One more glass ofwine. Another cigarette. My nails. What do I need? Oh, I know. I gettwo bottles of polish, the.
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