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I was in sexual nirvana.But it wasn't all paradise. I felt pangs of jealousy, now that I wasn't the only man in her life. I started noticing that, while Jen always dressed great whenever she knew she was going to see Ralph, she didn't seem to care as much about her appearance when she knew she'd only be with me. With Ralph, she'd always wear dresses and skirts, stockings and heels. She'd spend a lot of time on her hair and makeup, even if they'd only be seeing each other for an hour in the morning, to carpool to the kids' school. But on days she knew she wasn't going to see Ralph, she'd just wear jeans and casual tops, often no makeup, and just tie her hair back. It made me jealous that Jen cared more about how she looked when she was going to be with Ralph, than when she knew she'd be with just me.There were other things I noticed. Some were little things. Like when we were speaking on the phone, if Ralph called she'd put me on hold and switch over to him. But if she was speaking to. ’ I glanced at Pete as I said the words, he was looking at the floor. I tried again to convey how I felt with a solitary look. I could tell Liam was trying to do the same. He grabbed his t-shirt and shoes and walked out of my office.I knew that wasn’t our goodbye, but we’d have to have a goodbye and that hurt. It hurt so much.‘I’ve made such a fucking mess, Pete, I am so desperately sorry. I can’t begin to try and explain why I don’t know why I barely know how it happened. He’s right, I feel heartbroken. I am so sorry I’ve hurt you. I didn’t want to hurt you. I honestly, and Zak and Lilly please let’s try and put them first. I know I haven’t, I’ve put me first but please, don’t make me hurt my kids.’ Tears overflowed from my eyes again and the last few words could just be made out through my sobs.I realised I was still standing naked in my office. I suddenly felt very cold. Potentially it was the shock hitting me more than the temperature.Pete had just stared at me as I spoke an.
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