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So I tell him everything. How my relationship with Mike had grown far beyond experimentation. How our experiences had left me shaken, doubtful about my sexuality, but oh so excited. About how I believe I had "loved" Mike in a way that was very close to the love I had felt also for women. About how my grief for him is so very much deeper than that for a lost friend, for indeed he was my lover. And I tell him about Griff, my friend and almost lover from my Air force days, whom I came about two inches from fucking one summer night on a white gulf beach in 1963.There is a long pause as I stand over him, hoping his reaction will not be too harsh, that he will not think ill of me, will not cease to be my friend because of my "queer' feelings for Mike and Griff.Les rises, stands still for a moment, looks straight in my face, then leans forward and kisses my lips lightly. I stand in shock, not knowing what to feel, my face tingling where his coarse beard has touched.He takes my hand and. They're who I wanna be friends with. It just never works out that way. People come here, they cut loose, ya know? They aren't looking for a new friend, just another fuck-buddy. And when men use me for their pleasure, it makes me so fucking hot! But, mind-blowing orgasms get old when it's never someone you care about, like a friend or family member." And, Suki's not just another staff member, you get that? She's a really good psychologist. She knows how people tick. She's got pull. I thought her daughter was my friend, we hung out when I first got here. Then it was always, 'let's fuck that guy' or 'threesome with him' or whatever. I realized she didn't care about me, just about the fact that having another girl meant even more sex for her. I don't do much with her any more. Plus, I leave on Sunday. My month is done."Duke was confused. "And ... So, you agreed to have sex with me? I don't get it." Oh, well, I'm kinda babbling." Lani smiled. "You're my age. That's a plus. Not too many.
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