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" What story?" I almost got mugged by a guy with a knife in a laundromat when I, we, were undergrads at Cal Tech. There was a girl, woman, who bashed his head into a sink and then used his own knife to cut his throat." Oh, Christ." Yeah. She didn't leave any evidence behind - no DNA, no fingerprints, not a hair or a fiber. The thing is that she had written the breakthrough equations on a table with a marking pen. I talked the crime lab out of the tabletop later, so I know that it really happened."Even then I lied about it. I told the detective on the case that I recognized some of it when I knew exactly what I was looking at: what everybody calls the 'Theory of Everything.' I worked backward from those equations in private while guys and I worked forward in public. When I linked the trails of logic one night I had a moment, uh, I guess you could call it an epiphany so blinding that I thought my head would explode."It took us ten years, but we couldn't have done it without what that. "What is going on?" "Well I told you that was no typo, but you wouldn't believe me. Now you have tits, a very nice pair I might add. But don't worry the toy will go to an underprivileged child on Christmas as usual. Now as to why I have done this, well I figured that those who came in here to donate a toy were the type of people who were in touch with the true meaning of Christmas. However the greatest gift that you can give on this holiday is not something of monetary value, but to give of yourself. I figured that those who gave to the Toys For Tits or Tots, as you say, campaign were people who would understand this. You have been transformed to give the gift of companionship at Christmas to a lonely soul who has been good in the past year and truly deserves to get laid by someone as sexy as you are now. And while this may go against tradition, I'm afraid it won't be a Silent Night tonight for either one of you. After you have given of yourself, hopefully repeated times,.
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