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I spent the meal next to her, kneeling, hands folded on my lap, sometimes resting my head against her thigh, needing the reassurance of her touch as she brushed her fingers through my hair and told me I was a good girl.She fed me. A morsel at a time. I took a perverse sort of gratification that he felt nearly as awkward as I did. And afterwards, after he’d left, she would reward me. Or so I hoped. II.Patience and time. Never rush things. Let them develop at their own pace, taking it slow and you can adjust to just about anything within reason. It’s all about comfort levels…The dinners continued. They weren’t a constant, but they were somewhat regular. The awkwardness faded. Eventually, it started feeling natural to be sitting at her side, across from him, naked. My role evolved. Occasionally I’d serve them. Or cook. I enjoyed cooking, especially since it meant wearing a frilly apron – a gift from her. I looked adorable in it, or so she told me, which meant the world to me. I craved. We’d have to find a different girl, and hope the client would be satisfied. Frank just said he’d take care of it. I left, secure in the knowledge of a job well done. ‘When I got back, I found out that Frank had given the girl an abortion before the boob job, and that she was on her way to LA to do pornography. ‘That was when I found out what my limit was, Maggie. When I found out that underneath all the shit that had piled up on my soul over fifteen years, I still had something decent in there. That was when I decided I just couldn’t do it anymore. I walked out on Frank, and started using what I knew to keep girls like you away from guys like him. I can’t deny that I did some pretty lousy things in my time, and I don’t think I’ll ever atone for them. But I’m not trying to atone for them. I’m just trying to make sure that it doesn’t happen to you.’ There was a long silence. He looked over at Maggie, but she had her head turned to face the window. ‘Maggie?’ he asked. ‘I’ll understand.
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