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Feel wanted, close, excited. It’s hard to explain, but you asked. Let me try. It isn’t not feeling loved because I know we love each other. But we are so busy. You have a great job you enjoy, are good at and the company respects and rewards you for that. You’re rising in your job, getting lots of attention, support, praise, strokes. And, you are gone a lot. But, I know it’s your job. But I have this dead-end job despite my skills, get no affirmation and don’t know why I am still there. And … did I mention you are gone a lot? It is NOT an excuse but the combination of frustration and our life getting into “old married people”, a few drinks … and it happened. My body just wanted some excitement. My mind knew better, but the drinks moved that aside. I was just craving something more for a time. I’m sorry, Joe.”“I can actually understand that. That’s a reason we can work with if that is what you want. Assuming you really want us to work and be committed.”“Absolutely. Anything. I don’t. I just can't sit at that table and pretend... ," haunted me. Was she saying she couldn't sit at her parents' Thanksgiving table and pretend that the man she had given her virginity wasn't there? Was she saying she couldn't pretend that she didn't love me? Millie, I decided, was the only person who could tell me what her sister was saying.It was the day before Thanksgiving, not a good day to start a new job. We inventoried the left over building supplies stored in the garage and organized the tools we carried in the van. At mid-morning we took a coffee break in the kitchen and I made excuses to go upstairs. A fax, not thirty minutes old, had arrived from Miss. Spencer.Dear Ben,This is so naughty as it is contrary to company policy. My hands are trembling because I've never done anything like this before. I know you are twenty-five and I've seen your picture. To be fair, I'm including a picture of me at the bottom of this page. Can you guess how old I am?Please... call me, NadineThe.
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