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.I saw myself as a bride to a commanding uniformed guy and this remained my ideal for years. I was quite innocent about all this until I reached an age where I began to wonder what was happening to me. I started to read the dictionary definitions. As a result I ran away from it all. forced myself to stop dressing, tried to date girls (disaster). University...had a girlfriend. Wild about one another but never even tried to have sex. A guy seduced me, fucked me and suddenly I thought 'this is who I am!' I had an unusual interest in transvestites and transsexuals, reading every book going but I was in denial and just saw myself as a passive gay guy. I totally repressed any inclination to wear female clothing. I got into the leather scene as a gay man. But always submissive. Submission became my focus. I endured a lot of sessions I really didn't like. I was whipped and beaten and my stoicism saw me through. But I did learn to be a good sub/slave. The internet came along. I was in on it. I felt her breast press against my body. Her soft sensual white legs run through the gap between my thighs. Felt her feather soft arms wrap around my neck. I led us to the near bamboo day bed at the end of the terrace; our body still close to each other, tongues eclipsing in every breaths we took. I felt my body getting hotter and hotter as we drew closer and closer to the day bed.Finally, we got to the day bed. She fell on her back on the day bed. I kneeled down; pushed her shirt up; and kissed her soft abdomen. I teased her by circling my tongue around her belly button. She moaned, then reached down to unbutton her cargo pants and pulled it apart to open the zip. She shrugged to kick her pants off. I stopped her. I shushed her, telling her to let me lead for a moment. Then kissed her lips.As we kissed, I reached for her thighs. I ran my fingers against her warm white thighs, ran them up to her last pair of clean panties; her crimson colored silk underwear. I pressed my middle.
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