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.." Yeah, I think she is. I can just tell. We've been together a fewyears and I can just..." Steve drank a gulp of beer.George felt really bad for him. "Steve is a really stand-up guy,"George thought. "He deserves better."The Spirit watched as George paid his check and left Steve alone at thetable as Nikki and Karl made out in the stairwell.Friday night found George at the mall looking for shoes. After all, agirl can never have too many shoes! He bought a nice pair of strappies,and was headed back to his car when a saw a commotion up ahead near thefood court."Help!" Does anyone know CPR?" I know CPR" George said and people parted to let him in. Lying on thefloor was Andy- Pervert Andy- pale and not breathing.Shit!George thought about his CPR class. Umm ABC- airway, breathing,circulation... he checked Andy's pulse- nothing. George then tiltedAndy's neck back and gave him two quick breaths down into his lungs.Eww! Andy had Garlic breath!After a minute, a mall employee arrived. Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelinblindfolded? A. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.Q. What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawn mower.Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust fordirections: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tunebagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out-of-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate youhave been hallucinating.Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe? A. Add vibrato.Q. What’s the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn’t.Q. What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road anddead bagpiper in the road? A. Skid marks in front of the snake.Q. What’s the difference between a dead bagpiper in the roadand a dead country singer in the road? A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recordingsession.Q. What’s the range of a bagpipe? A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.Q. Why are bagpipers.
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