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He pointed to a door with a piece of poster board taped on it marked ‘Toilet and Copier Repair’. ‘Thanks,’ I said, as I headed over to what used to be a janitorial supply closet. I opened a door and there was a young man that looked like a teenager sitting on a bucket with straws sticking out of his nose. ‘I guess you’re my assistant, huh?’ The kid jumped up and pulled the straws from his nose. ‘Yes Sir, I’m Darren Dagwood, at your service,’ he said, giving me a salute. ‘At ease. What’s with the straws?’ I asked pointing at the recent nostril invaders. ‘Fetish, Sir.’ ‘Up your nose?’ I asked. That was a new one on me. ‘No, I only do that when I can’t shove them up my…’ ‘Alright. Alright,’ I said not wanting to hear anymore. ‘Get a mop and bucket ready. We have a lot of rounds to make,’ I said, holding up the pager. ‘You have…fifty nine…new messages of which…’ I changed and did my best to hide the soiled jockeys. ‘What’s that smell?’ asked Darren. ‘Let’s go,’ I mumbled. * * * Darren. The other night you almost shot ‘Little Paul’ across the bedroom.” Blossom added.“I did not!” Erin said defensively.“You did, Erin. I was lying at your feet and it shot past my head like a mortar shell.”“I do not fart that bad!” Erin protested.“It’s not about good or bad. It’s more about the force.” I piled on.“Hey! You guys are being mean.” Lynn defended her wife.“Sorry Sweetie. Hey! How did we get from Erin being pissed about Lynn, to dealing with her farts?” Blossom asked.“Yeah how did we do that?” Erin asked, before she walked over to Lynn and pulled her into her arms.“Please don’t be angry with me. And remember, you saved the rest of our girls’ lives and to me that puts you up twelve to one. I love you.” Erin sobbed as she spoke to her long time lover.“OK you two, we still have more family business to take care of.” I said.Erin sat on a chair and pulled Lynn onto her lap, Lynn laid her head against her wife’s shoulder and let out a soft sigh as she began to trace various shapes.
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