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"I didn't mean to say that you were a failure. I'm positive that someone as beautiful as you is nothing but a success when it comes to, you know, catching men's attention." It's never as easy as that," she said automatically, and hoped that he didn't guess the deeper meanings of her words. "The right man has just never come along, I guess." The same here," he said. And then with a blush, he corrected himself. "The right woman, that is. I've never found the right woman." That is so difficult to believe." And me with you," he agreed. "But the path to true love, as they say..."She shook her head in agreement. "It's not smooth. It's not smooth at all."And, indeed, it never had been for Karen.In a sense, she still thought of herself as a virgin. Perhaps not so in the literal sense, but in an emotional sense there was a truth about this she was too embarrassed to admit. True, she had experimented. There were the men who'd enjoyed her body when times were hard and the doctors' bills most. Giving birth was perhaps the most painful and colorful moment of my life, the ripping of a soul that I’m not even sure exists. It tore from me like the wing of bird, disabling my flight through the azure dawn of existence. I felt that when I was crying my tears were made of glass because they hurt as they came out razor edges carving bloody scars down my cheeks dropping like bullets onto my heaving chest, dividing lines around my heart, stilling my flowing stream of consciousness into a stagnant pool of sharp edged and bitter regret. My whole being became pain. I was a soul writhing in a sea of boiling agony and I screamed like a wolf that howls in mourning. I screamed like a bird that soars across the horizon. And all eyes were on me and I was dying in the pain that engulfed me and swallowed me whole. If only I could die I would be happy. Laying eyes on my son erased the pain and closed the wounds on my face and body, it breathed new life into me and assured me that our souls are.
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