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There was a band playing, not the worst, not much good, typical pub band really I didn't give them much thought apart from the bass player. The bass guitar is the drunk uncle wedding dance of musical instruments. Let's be honest since "Superstition" the only bass player most people can name of is that Fly/Flea/Bug/Stick Insect chap from Red Hot Chili Peppers. This guy was in full "look at me" mode, strumming solos between song that made the whole evening feel like an episode of a nineties American sitcom. He would occasionally elongate a note and move the sting slightly so it would change up and down. Roll a key up, elongated note with a wobble and roll a key down. Not the most improvised set but getting a tad tedious. After a while I noticed his attentions were fixed, transfixed on a woman sat in the crowd and the elongated wobble would be accompanied by a look, smile and even a wink. The woman would smile back politely but look away embarrassed during the next song. A while later. “Go get it,” she said impishly. “I’ll meet you at the top of the stairs and you can take my picture.”We both laughed and a few moments later, I had a snapshot of her covered in her lover’s cum, a spiteful recreation of the shot I had of Barb coated in Essence of Douchebag. We decided to get showered and dressed to brave some of the stores for entertainment more than any urgent need to shop. I hadn’t bought her anything yet and she hadn’t shopped for me either, but we weren’t so focused on that. Yeah, right.We went to the closest mall and separated to look for something for each other. I immediately hit the jewelry store and looked over their selection.“Panic shopping?” the saleswoman asked me with a sympathetic smile.I chuckled. “I wouldn’t call it panic shopping,” I said. “We just started seeing each other and I want to get her something special. It’s our first Christmas together, after all.”Her smile broadened. “I’ll keep you away from the engagement rings then,” she assured me,.
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