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For the next three weeks or so I was incommunicado. Nobody could get hold of me. My mobile was switched off, I took a sabbatical from my job as a doorman at Peroni’s Nightclub, and moved in with my friend and co-doorman Tony. The days were spent sunbathing in Tony’s garden, and at night while Tony was at Peroni’s I would surf the internet, watch some porn or football on the box and get through the better part of a bottle of vodka. After three weeks of this I was bored. I needed to be back at work, back at the club. I also needed to get laid! I called Alex, the club manager and told him I was coming back in that evening. Peroni’s was the third nightclub I had worked the door for – but it was by far the best. Targeted at a slightly older and more affluent clientele it attracted people from all parts of the city. During The Grand National race meeting we would get a whole slew of celebrities looking for somewhere to splash their winnings. (One year I ended the night in the back of a. "Clarise? Is something wrong?" "YES! There's a big black spider in my shower and I didn't even know it was there and I just saw it when I was washing my hair and it scared me and Kelsey isn't home and I don't know what to do and-" He interrupted my frantic babbling with laughter. "It's okay," he said in between chuckles, "I'll come over. Just calm down." My fright immediately simmered down. "Okay, thank you Jeremy." Okay, I know, this sounds like some elaborate trap on my part, especially the part where I was still wearing only a towel when he arrived, but I promise sex was the last thing on my mind! I was so preoccupied with my spiders-are-everywhere paranoia that I didn't even think about getting dressed. It didn't even occur to me that I was practically naked until he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of me. His eyes nearly popped out of his head and his cheeks were painted a rather cute pink color. But his erection-in-the-waiting didn't matter to me at the time. I quickly.
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