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”“Why did you spare me?!” I snarled.“You’re lucky number one-thousand-one.” She grinned back. “But why me?” She stepped toward me, and stopped so close that I could taste her breath. She extended a finger, and poked my nose. “I really like this nose. It’s pronounced. Proud. Regal. Some people think a big nose is a bad thing, but it can be quite striking if it’s shaped right. I believe the Highland population would benefit if more elves—who are notoriously subtly-featured—had pronounced schnauzers. What I want you to do, brave Lucius Hecian, is to take off that armor, put down that sword, and walk that way.” She pointed west. “By the time this war is over, there will be a huge gender tilt in the Highlands. I want you to shoot your big-nosed genetics into as many Highland maidens as you can. In a hundred years, I expect to see many big-nosed high-elves, or I will be very disappointed. Do you understand me?” “You want me to abandon the army?” “You charged the Dark Queen. What more do you. I was stifling outright laughter, amused by the futility of it all. He almost had it and I mentally pushed it away. “Dammit all!”I was now laughing uncontrollably. My friend looked at me with a frown. “You’re NOT helping, you know!”“I know; I was just wondering why you didn’t just ASK for my help?”“I thought you were busy, not to mention I forgot that you COULD help.”“Okay, just told the pole steady.” I looked down in the water, and re-hooked the head to the pole.Greg began laughing. “I’m glad the girls didn’t see that, they would’ve both peed their pants. Not to mention the fact that I’d never live it down!”“No you won’t”, Jamie flashed, “you should have just asked Charlie to help!”I saw Greg’s eyes go straight up to the heavens and he took a deep breath. I knew that Jamie was talking to him. He was shaking his head and said, “I’m glad you got the job sweetheart. I’m also glad you didn’t see that!”I saw his shoulders slump as he frowned at me and pointed to his eyes and then to me.
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