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”“Well, I said it was a favor but I didn’t say it was one hundred percent free.” I glanced over at him and his smile faded.“What you mean by that?”“I was thinking I’d scratch your back if you scratch mine sort of arrangement.”“My dude, I ain’t gay. I don’t even think of dudes like that and if you think…”“Chill, I didn’t say anything about you being gay, man. Why you gotta jump to that just because I’m gay?”“Because…bruh what do you want?”“First, we need to at least know each other’s names. I’m David.”He sighed before telling me, “I’m Ricky, man.”“Okay, now that that’s out of the way…” I took a deep breath before continuing. “I wanna suck your dick.”I was expecting him to either open my door and step out the moment I stopped at the next stoplight or punch me for asking. I was even expecting him to pull a knife or gun on me. But I wasn’t expecting was for this dud to grab his crotch, look at me and say, “We gotta do this fast, because I have to be at her spot in like twenty minutes,. I was like "Sure, I have a truck, no problem." I thought it was kind of strange, but thought maybe she's like environmentally friendly, going green, etc. You would think I would have connected the dots once I saw the bags of cans tied to her bike too but I thought this chick really cares about earth son, she's a saint! Recycle, Reduce, Reuse. For a second I thought I found Al Gore's daughter, which is a 2 for 1 for me but that's another weird story.So we get to my place, and I leave her in the living room so I can take a piss. Normally I don't juts leave someone immediately but I had to pee like a drunk Sea Biscuit. I come out after a good 60 second piss (I have a piss timer on my wall for sheer convenience) and I see this chick throwing all my top ramen into her aluminum can bag. I'm like "Hey, what the fuck is going on here?!" I mean shit, that was my dinner for the month of April, I got nervous man. She told me that she noticed I had an abundance of food and she thought I would.
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