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“Now spread those legs apart.” Now I knew I was about to be spanked again. My penis was dangling between her thighs and I felt very vulnerable with my legs spread apart. Jill held me firmly in place and started to spank me with the hairbrush. This stung more than Cindy’s hand spanking, but wasn’t as bad as Cindy’s paddle. “You better start explaining yourself right now,” Jill said. My spanking continued as I said, “I wanted to make sure (Ouch) that I did a good job of shaving for you. (Ouch)(Ouch) So I went to the drugstore to (Ouch) pick up a razor. There was a nurse (Ouch) at the Quick Health Center (Ouch) that helped me pick out (Ouch) the razor. Since I told her (Ouch) that you wanted me to shave very well, (Ouch) she offered to shave me. (Ouch) So I had her shave me. (Ouch)” “Well she did a good job. Please continue,” Jill said. “While she shaved me, (Ouch) I had an erection. (Ouch) (Ouch) She said I was a naughty boy (Ouch) and she spanked me. (Ouch) I just wanted to (Ouch). I wastorn. And even though I tried to tell me otherwise, I knew that I haveto transition. That it was my only option to get out of that miserableemotional state.I traveled. Every year. Sometimes several times. It helped me to getmy mind away from being trans. Looking forward to going somewhere elseand especially being somewhere else was making me happy. While away Iwasn't feeling sad all the time. I enjoyed life then. For real. Itwasn't just a lie I tried to tell myself.In 2012 I made a decision. Knowing that I have to transition but notfeeling able to do it at home. Why not somewhere else? Germany is big.The world is even bigger I talked to my superior and she promised tohelp me find something somewhere else. Without telling the realreason.In early 2013 the opportunity knocked on the door. I flew to Viennafor an interview. And accomplished that mission. I started on thefirst of June. I felt excited. There is the possibility to finally bewho I am and yet, I tried to convince it'll be.
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