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“Hi,” it said. “I like your greeting and would love to talk. What you looking for?”I’d always found that being honest and direct helped avoid needless back and forth messaging with people who weren’t interested in fucking, so my response was simple: “I’m feeling horny, haven’t had sex in a while, and I’m looking for someone to fool around with.”Laying back again, I waited for her to respond, but not expecting anything.“Sounds good to me. How old are you?” came the reply several moments later.“I’m 34,” I responded. “Would you like to connect live?” With that, I ***********ed option number 1 which would let her know I wanted to talk live. I waited.“You are now being connected,” said the chatline.“Hi,” I said, “How are you?”“Oh hey, I’m good, how are you?” came the response.“I’m good. What’s your name?”“I’m Cathy, who are you?”“Steve,” I said. “What are you looking for?“Oh, just someone to hang out with, I guess,” said Cathy. “What about you?”“To be honest, I’m really horny,” I said.. "I was hoping it was a social call. Why, did something else happen?" Maybe", she replied. "Do you own any firearms?" Two", I stated. "Your co-workers recently returned my father's pistol and shotgun to me. Of course I had to store the .45 out of the city. I haven't been able to get a permit to keep it here thanks to your wonderful city government." No hunting rifles?" I don't hunt. Not since I was a teenager." But you are familiar with weapons, aren't you?" I was afraid you'd go there. You checked my service record, didn't you." Standard procedure", she apologized. "We had to." Yeah? Well just because I was in the service doesn't mean I'm John Rambo." Really?", she chortled. "Purple heart, bronze star, and a navy cross with one star? Sounds like Rambo was a piker!"I turned away so she wouldn't see my expression and to regain some composure. It took some effort, but I finally faced her again. "Look", I sighed. "I got some shrapnel in my ass from a roadside bomb. The pinned a purple.
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