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You press your palm against my pubic mound under the water and squeeze my crotch with your hand. That makes me want to pee, but I’m not going to do it in the water. You whisper to me that you’re ready.We splash out of the water and scramble up the bank onto the grass. You turn towards me, and slip the right strap of your swimsuit off your shoulder, then the left one. One at a time, you wriggle your arms thorough until you are standing there with the straps hanging by your sides. Your swimsuit is tight, squashing your breasts flat against your chest, their perfect smooth curves marred only by the little round humps of your nipples. You ask me to pull the cups down.Tenderly, I pull down your swimsuit over your breasts. They wobble slightly as they spring free and take their usual shape, and my breathe catches in my wind-pipe as I gaze at your little mounds, paler than the rest of your skin, surrounded by faint tan lines like contour lines on a map. Your slightly darker nipples look. My wife said, "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?" You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That tosser next door has still got my bloody shovel."A man is seeking to join the Vancouver Police force. The Sergeant doing the interview says:"Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted." Then, sliding a pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six activists, and a rabbit."The man being interviewed asks, "Why the rabbit?" Excellent!" says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"From the 'Shy One'Performance Evaluation comments:1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."2) "I would not allow this employee to breed."3) "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."4) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat.
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