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I screamed like hell, but no one came for me. I couldn’t do anything… I, I..,’ A sob escaped her lips. Luke reached across to grasp her hand tightly in his. The coffee was forgotten. ‘Aft… After what they did, they ran off. Left me for dead… And I would rather be dead than having to go through that all over again. Couldn’t face anybody… Scared, humiliated, ashamed.. Packed up and came here. Started a new job, stayed away from everybody… Couldn’t even talk to a guy without feeling humiliation and anger…’ He gripped her hand even tighter. Anger was rising in his throat. But he kept silent and let her continue. She seemed to want to, although she was visibly struggling. ‘Threw myself into my job. Tried to black out the whole episode. Slowly, slowly healing… Felt better. But still couldn’t bring myself to be close to another guy. But I wanted to… That was when I came up with a plan,’ She glanced up at him. ‘I couldn’t do this with other guys because it takes the long, excruciating. When she wasn't "working," she dressed nice, even a little conservative. She was smart as heck and read books all the time.She told me about her gambling man and showed me the books he'd had in his saddlebags. She ordered new books all the time and they were delivered by the railroad. She made me start reading them too. It was hard but she helped me and I got better.I couldn't do too much until my arm got better but she talked to me about her plans."Dutch, this is not the life I wanted. It happened to me and I had to accept it but I hate it... and I hate myself. I want to get out of this life. If you help me, I'll help you."So as my arm healed I got the hogs started again. I made their shed bigger and doubled the size of the hog pen. I did the same thing with her egg production.I'd never used a gun except for my dad's shotgun — and I'd broke that against a tree. Rose had a man she knew — I didn't know if he was one of her "clients" as she called them. He brought me out a new rifle.
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