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There were no words needed between us … simply a look and I knew what was expected of me. No, demanded of me. We were perfection in its truest sense. Now little things send me spiraling into tears under his scrutiny, knowing how disappointed he must be to see how I have retracted while he was gone. My timing is off … my responses not instantaneous. I used to be able to read his mind and know what he was thinking without question. Now I find myself stumbling for words and quick responses to his questions. I doubt my answers, hoping they are what he is looking for when I used to just know. Just last night he said, “You’re too emotional, relax slut” but those words alone were enough to send a fresh stream of tears down my cheeks. He knows me, inside and out, through and through, as if no time has passed between us and I ache to belong to him again. In my heart, I know that I never stopped belonging to him … that even in his absence, he was here with me. But I still long to proudly wear. Tears were streaming down my face. I had thought he really liked me.I spotted the front door and raced out past the two seniors who were standing there as monitors. I heard one of them yelling as I went through, but I ignored them and started to run. I ran for about a block and finally stopped, panting heavily. I waited until my breath returned to normal and stood there thinking. What should I do now? Maybe I should have listened to my parents. Maybe I was too young to date. Well, there was nothing for it, I'd just have swallow my pride and walk home. It was only seven or eight blocks.I'd barely started to walk when a car full of young black teenagers drove slowly by. "Hey honky," yelled one of them. "Want a little of my black meat?" I tensed.I heard the driver say, "Leave her alone Kurt. She's not even old enough to bleed." Then the car roared away into the night. I was starting to get really scared now. I forced myself to go forward, walking a little faster now.An old pickup truck.
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