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Threads and remnants of life's reality appeared in his dream and were woven into a mental tapestry, depicting shards of the events that led to her departure: his layoff from the factory at the beginning of summer, the long lines at the unemployment office, the days spent wandering around the house feeling useless and unwanted, his wife's goodbyes sounding more like accusations as she left for work each morning, the anger that built up with each passing minute, the long moments spent staring blankly out the window at the neighbor's daughter while she sunbathed, and the numbing peace brought on by each can of beer.In his dream, he could feel the heat of the sun upon him, the sweat on his forehead running down his face as he lay with eyes closed on the lounge chair on the back patio. He could also feel the cool condensation that had formed on the aluminum as he blindly reached for the next can of nectar he had come to rely upon to help him make it through the day. And he could feel the. "I just wish...oh, I don't know what I wish. That I could have been abetter person, I guess, a different person, the person I saw myself asbeing in my mind's eye. I understand that no one's perfect, but I'vefailed so badly, fallen so far short. I'm not sure of anything anymore."She stopped, catching herself before going too far, passed the point ofno return. Then, in spite of herself, she decided to press on, to haveit all out once and for all. "I look at the mess I've made of things, ofmy life in general, and I look at the task ahead, what's necessary tostraighten it all out and the limited time left to do it, and I justwant to give up. I want to surrender. And, the worst part is, somehow Ican't."Grace was quiet for some moments, letting the crickets have their say,waiting for the break that signaled her own part in the night symphony.It came, eventually."Well, I'm glad you can't give up. It means you're still alive."Marcia laughed softly. "Oh I'm alive alright. If being alive means.
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