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Maybe not the same luck that got him killed though.It was the strangest thing, really. One night after he was fucking your biological mother, shooting fifty CC's of baby batter into her stomach that would eventually form the compounds that would give you life in this earth, he used his zippo to light two 100 dollar bills, which he then used to light his cigar. Your mother woke up from what you can only assume was the best sex she ever had in her entire life and asked him to marry her.Your father, being the paragon of virtue that he was, politely declined the offer.'Politely declining' in this case meant that he decided to jump out the window in an effort to not be roped into a stable relationship. Shame that he forgot he was on the sixty ninth floor of a huge hotel skyscraper in New York City.Ironically, he didn't die from the fall, but rather died midway from the STDs he gotten from an entirely different girl from six months back. Life has a great sense of humor sometimes.Anyway,. The bottom was nearly flat as well but slightly rounded and concave. The plastic was poorly cast and there was a clearly visible line up both sides where the plastic was kinda sharp, even on the bottom. It seemed very ill advised but I was too horny to think at the time so I lubed it and put the cap down on the side of the tub rim. Letting my ass down on it I realized it wasn’t going easy. I pushed out my asshole trying to open up for it more but the blunt end was proving hard to insert. Pushing out was just sliding my asshole over one edge, not the whole end. It was just too big and not pointed enough to accommodate. Still rubbing the razor over my cunt I desperately looked for an alternative but there wasn’t anything in the small bathroom that was even remotely useable. I decided to hell with it, I was going to fuck my ass one way or another. I sat back down on the bottle and pushed as I let my weight down. I rubbed my clit to take my mind off the girth and the tension of it. It.
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