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The bookie knew he had a winner and bet every cent he had on the old nag.He watched dumbfounded as the old nag pulled up and couldn’t even finish the race.In a state of shock, he went to the track area where the Priest was standing.Confronting him, he exclaimed, “Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed never even had a chance. Now, thanks to you I’ve lost all my money!”The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. “You aren’t Catholic are you my son?”“No, I’m Jewish.”“That’s the problem”, said the Priest, “you couldn’t tell the difference between a blessing and last rites.”This one is compliments of J & BFarmer Steve, had been in a terrible automobile accident. He was hurt quite badly. He sued the trucking company that had struck his vehicle and injured him.The case was taken to trial, and Farmer Steve was on the stand to testify.The plaintiffs’ attorney asked Farmer Steve “if he had said that he was not. Her face was like stone. Ben saw all this through the reflection in the mirror behind the bar.The chick stopped in the open doorway to survey the room. She still had her mirror shades on, so no one could see exactly what she was looking at. The ancient juke box chose that moment to quit, and to Ben this felt like a moment out of an old cliché western. There was total silence as every eye in the room followed the chick. She walked slowly to the bar and stopped two stools from Ben.Looking at the silent Quohog for a moment, she sat down. Ben could see her cool face in the reflection of the mirror."Could I have a menu please, and a bottle of mineral water." The voice surprised Ben. It was upper class British, low and cool just like the rest of the lady. It suited her, Ben thought. Hearing her talk like a truck driver in a Midwest accent just would have been wrong.The guys snickered at her mention of mineral water.Even Quohog let a chuckle go. "Mineral water? What do think I am lady, a.
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