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None of the other girls were wearing dresses – and most of them never do, at least not to class – and it was like there was a red arrow over my head, pointing right at me. In a way, I liked it, but in another, it was kind of uncomfortable. A little bit of attention left me when Stacey walked in a couple of minutes later, wearing denim short-shorts. She must’ve laid out a bit, because her legs had a little tan, while mine were still winter white. There wasn’t too much commotion about me spending the night at Mark’s when I got back to the dorm in the afternoon, Monica knew that I had taken a change of clothes with me, so she was expecting it, even though she knew I was on my period. But when I walked back into the dorm room, I got a ‘Whoa! What’s this?’ from her when she saw me in the new dress. ‘Oh, wow, Jennifer, you must’ve killed Mark in that dress,’ she said. ‘Well, he was still alive when I left him,’ I kind of giggled. Oh, Lord, when did I start giggling like this? ‘But he did. And wear those tight little pants you got at LuLuLemon that show off your cock. You’ll get attention.’
‘From gay guys. I’ll get attention from gay guys,’ I said.
‘Hey, attention is attention and right now you just need to be reminded that you actually have a penis and that that bitch didn’t put it in her purse when she broke your heart and crushed the pieces with those stupid fucking boots of hers.’
So anyway I was at yoga when it happened. If you’re a straight man who’s ever been to a hot yoga class you know it’s a sea of astonishing asses in skin-tight pants all pointed in the air and swaying in the breeze like strangely fuckable trees. In the past I’d always tried not to stare. Not to lust. Not to fantasize. Partly because I was a married man and married men weren’t supposed to do that. And partly because . . . well, because I didn’t like the thoughts that came welling up when I did. But this time I did stare. And I did fantasize. It’s the mirrors that did it. Damned yoga.
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