.She didn't blame them, for how she turned out. Nona had aged enough in the past week to truly understand it was all on her. On how she had reacted to the world outside her family. Especially, the way she found herself now.She had abandoned God, and now couldn't find him.It was the fault of her friends...No, no, don't blame them. It was ... not their influence, really, but her reaction to it. That was it.Nona was Muslim. Daughter of two immigrants, Malaysian students who met at the University of Buffalo and decided to stay. That hadn't been the original intent, naturally. Both had planned on returning to friends and family. But, graduating a year before Mom, Dad had found a job at a local company so they wouldn't be separated. When Mom herself was offered a job upon graduation, well...She couldn't blame her actions on not being raised well. Her parents did their best. They taught her to love God, that he loved her, and all the joy that relationship had. She loved being a Muslim. It. I was acting like a fag. The truth was that I was a fag. I knew it and I knew that Randy knew it too, though he’d pound anyone that ever called me one. I knew that the kid that beat up would never approach me again. Randy would see to it.“Who was it?” Randy asked again. I shook my head. I didn’t want Randy to beat anyone up on my account. I desired to be beat. I was a fag and fags deserved to be beat. It wasn’t just that I was a fag that made me despise myself it was that I lusted after my own brother.“Don’t fucking piss me off,” Randy yelled, “Nobody fucking beats up my little brother! Nobody! Now you tell me who the fuck did this to you!”I shook my head again as the tears fell from my eyes. I was determined not to tell. I knew that Randy’s rage was a manifestation of his love for me but I wasn’t going to let him beat up anyone else because of me. The last kid he really hurt. I was scared for a while that the kid would tell who had beaten him up and that Randy would go.
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