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. you will regret it.This one is compliments of JohnAll in all it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, and malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage.But more importantly for the story, it had been over 48 hours since I last took a dump. I tried to jump start the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with 6 cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell.As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the omission of the occasional tiny fart that big things would be happening soon.Alas, I had to stop by the mall to pick up an order for my fiancée. I completed this task, and I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go.I. "I put my arm round his shoulders and began to explain all that had happened since I last saw him. I waved a thank you to Lachlan as I led Ian up the hill towards the house. I bid him wait outside and entered the house to find Kirsty."Kirsty my love, I have someone outside who wishes to see you."She looked at me quizzically but brushed past me to go out the door. Fiona, Eilean and I heard a squeal and I smiled as the women rushed out to see what was going on. I followed and found Ian hugging Kirsty and twirling her round and round."Father, father! How good, good I say. But how do you come to be here? Are you being hunted? What has happened to the steading?"He laughed as he tried to answer all of her questions, explaining that I had asked King Fergus to intervene and prevail upon Oengus of Loarne to free him of his service so he could come to join his daughter at Aird Driseig. Kirsty launched herself at me, kisses my reward for being so thoughtful."Now my dear, I think we need to go.
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