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Harrison,” Charlie said, choosing his words carefully to be sure he understood what was going on, “you’d like me to escort Mrs. Orzeskowa to dinner and the theatre. Is that it?”“Basically,” was his single word reply.The brevity of his answer was totally at odds with what Charlie knew of Brendon Harrison. There had to be something more here.“Of course I’ll be glad to do it,” he said nonetheless.“Excellent, I’m glad to hear that, Charlie,” Mr. Harrison smiled, “and of course the firm will cover any costs you might incur.”“Sir, is there something that I’m missing?” Charlie asked, figuring that now was finally the time to be direct.“I don’t think so,” Mr. Harrison said, the tone of his reply less than convincing.Then, like a flash cube going off in his head, it suddenly became as clear as could be to Charlie.“Sir,” he said as respectfully as he could, “just how far does the firm expect me to go to make Mrs. Orzeskowa happy?”“I don’t understand,” Mr. Harrison said, his professed lack of. People think it’s wonderful when belches and farts break free. Let me tell you, the wind produced is far from an appreciative comment for the exercise, the truth is, we’re trying to tell you to stop – you’re killing us! That’s why, when bottom burps are released, they smell so bad! Have you ever walked into a Yoga class? Shamus has, and the smell was bad enough it even made us wretch! He thought his stomach was hurting because of the strenuous workout he was being put through. Afraid not – it was us, feeling ill from the smell. A room full of lady farts (because be honest, the majority of people who attend Yoga classes are from the female end of the spectrum) is not the nicest environment to be in. It stinks! (And coming from a set of bowels, that’s praise indeed!) Our advice? Ignore the Yoga and embrace the Sofa! Remember how good it feels when you sit in a comfy chair, with something good on the telly, a cool drink in hand and a first-class meal consumed, negotiating its way down.
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